Friday, December 12, 2008

Entry One: What this blog is

I have a son who is 16 months old. In 2021, he'll be 14 and just ready to enter high school. I worry about two things concerning my son:

1. That I'll be dead (the two leading contenders for this potential death, incidentally, are government bred superflu and slipping in the bathroom).

2. That his mother will finally wake up to how below her station she married and divorce me.

Now, there's a good chance neither of these things will happen. For instance, on point one, I almost never inject the unmarked needles the government sends me in the mail and I'm also always sure to place a bathmat down when I shower. So I'm relatively sure I'll be alive in 2021.

My wife, too, seems to have taken her vows seriously and though I'm sure she looks at my slumping, soft belly covered as it is in hair and wonders how she wound up married to me, I think we're gonna make it. Exhausted inertia goes a long way to sustaining a marriage.

That said, there's still a possibility that I won't be there to help my son through his potentially awkward transition into adulthood. This worries me because as someone who actually broke world records when it came to awkward teenage transitions, I feel like I have a lot of advice to offer my boy. I'd like to be a mentor for him, even if I'm not there.

So, I decided to start this blog. Once a week (I'd say "daily" but one of the first lessons I want to teach my son is that the moment you overpromise on something you can't deliver is the moment you lose all credibility) I'll post a new piece of advice for my boy to find and absorb some 12 or so years from now.

It should be noted that this advice will be filtered through the lens of my sense of humor, so there will be times when my tongue will be in my cheek just a bit. But, for the most part, everything you read from this point forward is all stuff that I want my son to know. After all, the only three things I have to offer the boy are 1) the gene for blue eyes, 2) a pretty bitchin' collection of late 80s and early 90s comic books, and 3) my experience and theories.

Maybe you'll enjoy the site as well. If you do, please come back and occasionally tell your friends about it. I'd love to have others' input as I move forward.

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